The Sensuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the SkullAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and consequences.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, closeness, and love .
When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by find here believing, "Well, we've got from this source issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in city areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".
However, North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!