The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective sensations of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .
When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay males want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".
Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry you can try these out threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!