The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and effects.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well).
B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, closeness, love, and well-being .
When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, click for more info but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys specifically in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".
North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry over at this website is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses his explanation off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!