The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).
B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .
But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary visit this site searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".
Nonetheless, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!